Note 11: When Life Knocks You Down...Here’s How to Rise Again
Sometimes life hits you harder than you expected. The job you thought was secure disappears. The relationship ends. The opportunity falls through.
And suddenly, you’re staring at a version of your life you didn’t plan for.
In this episode, Yaya opens up about her own story, losing her job twice and how those moments pushed her into the strongest, most aligned version of herself. This note is the one you listen to when you’re trying to get back up, rebuild your confidence, and remember who you really are.
You’ll learn:
• Why confidence isn’t built when life is easy; it’s built when everything feels uncertain
• How to separate your worth from your titles, income, or achievements
• What to do when you don’t feel ready to start again
• The 4-step “Bounce-Back Blueprint” to rise stronger, softer, and more certain
• How to shift from “why me?” to “what now?”
• Why your setback is not an ending, it’s a redirect
This note is for the woman who’s trying to get up again… even if she feels tired, unsure, or embarrassed by her detour. You’re not alone and you’re not starting over. You’re starting from experience.
Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, and this note is coming straight from my heart about a situation that I am all too familiar with.
Speaker A:This one is for the woman who is trying to pick herself back up.
Speaker A:Sometimes we have a plan and life throws us a curveball that throws us totally off path.
Speaker A:Maybe you've lost a job.
Speaker A:Maybe you've lost a client, an opportunity, a dream that you've worked so hard for, or a relationship that you were really invested in.
Speaker A:And right now you're wondering, what do I do?
Speaker A:How do I even start again?
Speaker A:I get it because I've been there a few times.
Speaker A:So 10 years ago, I lost my job and I lost myself with it.
Speaker A:At the time, I thought my worth was my work, my title, my paycheck, my position.
Speaker A:They told me who I was.
Speaker A:So when it was gone, I felt empty.
Speaker A:I hit rock bottom mentally and financially.
Speaker A:At one point, I had no income, like literally no money coming in.
Speaker A:I went through depression and I questioned everything.
Speaker A:Everything.
Speaker A:I spent over a year and a half trying to get back to the woman that I thought I lost.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:That version of me was never lost.
Speaker A:She just need to remember her worth didn't live in her job description.
Speaker A: So Fast forward to: Speaker A:The world shut down and once again I lost my job.
Speaker A:But this time, something was different.
Speaker A:I didn't fall apart and I didn't question my value because I spent years doing the mindset work, building confidence that didn't depend on a paycheck, a title, or anyone else's approval.
Speaker A:So instead of asking, why me?
Speaker A:I asked, what now?
Speaker A:That one question changed everything.
Speaker A:Because what now puts you back in power?
Speaker A:And that's when I decided I was done waiting for someone else to give me permission to lead.
Speaker A:I started my coaching business and began helping women rebuild their confidence too.
Speaker A:So today, I want to share with you the blueprint that helped me rise.
Speaker A:Not with hustle, not with perfection, but with peace.
Speaker A:When life knocks you down, whether it's a layoff, a breakup, or a dream that didn't work out, you don't rebuild your confidence by pretending you are fine.
Speaker A:Let me say that you do not rebuild your confidence by pretending you are fine.
Speaker A:You rebuild it with honesty, a lot of grace, and small steps to remind you of who you are.
Speaker A:So here is the blueprint.
Speaker A:The first thing, you have to feel it.
Speaker A:Don't fake it.
Speaker A:Give yourself permission to grieve what you lost.
Speaker A:So many women rush to fix things because sitting in Disappointment feels heavy.
Speaker A:You may even feel embarrassed because of the loss.
Speaker A:But you can't heal what you refuse to feel.
Speaker A:Write it out.
Speaker A:Cry.
Speaker A:Be mad.
Speaker A:Then remind yourself feelings are not facts.
Speaker A:You can be sad and still worthy, hurt and still powerful.
Speaker A:After you do that, I want you to detach your worth from the work.
Speaker A:You are not your job title.
Speaker A:You are not your income.
Speaker A:You are not your productivity, and you are not your relationship status.
Speaker A:Your worth existed before that company ever cut you a check.
Speaker A:And listen, you were that girl before the relationship.
Speaker A:You had gifts.
Speaker A:You had purpose and talent.
Speaker A:Before the business setback, before the loss, and before anybody recognized you.
Speaker A:The moment you separate who you are from what you do or who you are with, that's when your confidence starts to rebuild itself.
Speaker A:So once you do that, focus on what you can control.
Speaker A:When everything feels uncertain, go back to the basics.
Speaker A:Your mindset, your routine, your voice, your breath.
Speaker A:You may not control the timing, but you can control the tone of the story you tell yourself.
Speaker A:Instead of I failed try, I'm being redirected.
Speaker A:Instead of it's over, try, it's evolving.
Speaker A:Language shapes belief, and belief shapes resilience.
Speaker A:Once you focused on what you can control, then take one brave step forward.
Speaker A:When you're ready, or even when you're not, move, start again, apply again, reach out.
Speaker A:Because momentum rebuilds trust faster than waiting ever will.
Speaker A:Here's what I know.
Speaker A:Losing that job didn't destroy me.
Speaker A:It revealed me.
Speaker A:It stripped away the false sense of control that showed me what was real.
Speaker A:My grit, my creativity, my faith, my voice.
Speaker A:So if you're in that space right now, staring at what you've lost, trying to figure out who you are without it, let me tell you something.
Speaker A:You have not lost your identity.
Speaker A:You are just meeting a new version of it.
Speaker A:This is where confidence gets built.
Speaker A:Not when everything's stable, but when everything feels uncertain and you still decide to believe in yourself.
Speaker A:So here's the note for today.
Speaker A:You're not starting over.
Speaker A:You are starting from experience.
Speaker A:You are wiser now, softer in the right places, and stronger where it counts.
Speaker A:And maybe, just maybe, this step back isn't a punishment.
Speaker A:It's a push.
Speaker A:A push into the next version of your purpose.
Speaker A:I remember when I was at my lowest point.
Speaker A:I had two people in my life who poured belief back into me.
Speaker A:They reminded me not to give up, to keep showing up, and to trust that what I lost wasn't the end of my story.
Speaker A:So if you're in that dark place right now, I hope this note spoke to you.
Speaker A:And if you're looking for someone to give you that same reminder, reach out to me.
Speaker A:I know this season all too well.
Speaker A:And I am here for you.
Speaker A:You survived the fall.
Speaker A:Now it's time to rise like you were meant to.
Speaker A:So next time, we're going to be talking about the small habits that quietly steal your confidence and how to flip them fast, so you're not going to want to miss.
Speaker A:Note 12 hidden habits that hold you back.
Speaker A:I'll see you there, Sam.
