Note 29: Don’t Roll Into the New Year Without This Reflection
Before you rush into a new year with new goals, new plans, and new intentions, pause.
In this episode of Notes to Her: The Daily Pep Talk, Yaya guides you through the most important reflection you can do before stepping into a new season of your life. Not a highlight reel. Not a vision board. A real, honest check-in with yourself.
This note is for the woman whose year didn’t go as planned…
for the woman who survived more than she talks about and for the woman who’s ready to stop repeating cycles and start moving with clarity.
In this episode, you’ll reflect on:
- Where you abandoned yourself this year
- What drained you more than it gave
- What patterns you don’t want to carry into the new year
- What actually deserves your energy next
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about awareness. And awareness is how everything changes.
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Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop rushing past the lessons, stop avoiding the harsh truths, and start moving forward with intention instead of pressure.
Speaker A:And before we jump in real quick, make sure you're following or subscribed so that you don't miss the next notes.
Speaker A:These conversations build on each other, and today's one, this one matters.
Speaker A:So I know we're standing at the edge of a new year, and the pressure is already loud.
Speaker A:New goals, new habits, new routines, new versions of you.
Speaker A:But before you roll into the new year, trying to reinvent everything, we need to talk.
Speaker A:Because if you don't pause and reflect, you're just going to be carrying old patterns into a new calendar.
Speaker A:Now, if you rush into the new year without reflecting on this year, you will repeat it.
Speaker A:Not because you're lazy, not because you didn't want it badly enough, but because unprocessed seasons don't disappear.
Speaker A:They resurface.
Speaker A:And too many women are sprinting into January without ever asking themselves, what did this year actually teach me?
Speaker A:Where did I grow?
Speaker A:Even when it hurt, what am I still carrying?
Speaker A:That doesn't belong in my next chapter.
Speaker A:So this note is your pause, your exhale, Your moment to look back without shame so that you can move forward with clarity.
Speaker A:Most women skip reflection because they're afraid of what they will find.
Speaker A:They don't want to admit that they've stayed too long.
Speaker A:They've ignored red flags, they played small.
Speaker A:They didn't speak up that some things ended painfully or quietly.
Speaker A:So instead, they jump straight to, next year will be different.
Speaker A:But different doesn't come from denial.
Speaker A:Different comes from awareness.
Speaker A:Reflection isn't about beating yourself up.
Speaker A:It's about taking your power back.
Speaker A:Because when you name what happened, you stop letting it control you.
Speaker A:So I want you to picture yourself sitting somewhere quiet.
Speaker A:No phone in hand, no pressure to fix anything.
Speaker A:Just you being honest with yourself for once.
Speaker A:Because most women never give themselves the space to actually ask these questions.
Speaker A:They just survive the year and move on.
Speaker A:And I don't want you rushing into the new year.
Speaker A:I want you arriving there.
Speaker A:So ask yourself these questions honestly.
Speaker A:The first one is, where did I abandon myself this year?
Speaker A:Where did you stay quiet when you wanted to speak?
Speaker A:Say yes.
Speaker A:When your body said no?
Speaker A:Shrink to keep the peace.
Speaker A:That's not shame.
Speaker A:That's information.
Speaker A:Two, what did I tolerate that I won't tolerate again?
Speaker A:In relationships, at work, with family, with yourself.
Speaker A:Growth isn't Pretending it didn't happen.
Speaker A:It's deciding it won't happen twice.
Speaker A:3.
Speaker A:Where did I surprise myself?
Speaker A:This one matters more than you think.
Speaker A:Where were you stronger than you expected?
Speaker A:Where did you keep going even when it was hard?
Speaker A:Where did you show resilience that you don't give yourself credit for?
Speaker A:You didn't make it through this year by accident.
Speaker A:And then four.
Speaker A:What version of me am I ready to release?
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The over apologizer?
Speaker A:The people pleaser?
Speaker A:The woman who waited for permission?
Speaker A:The version of you that said stuck because fear felt safer than change.
Speaker A:You don't have to drag her into the new year.
Speaker A:Now.
Speaker A:Here's what most women get wrong about reflection.
Speaker A:They think that it's about reliving pain or opening wounds again or beating themselves up for what they should have known better.
Speaker A:But that's not reflection.
Speaker A:That's self punishment.
Speaker A:Real reflection is neutral.
Speaker A:It's curious.
Speaker A:It's compassionate.
Speaker A:It sounds like, oh, that's why that kept happening.
Speaker A:And once you see it clearly, you stop repeating it.
Speaker A:Listen, this year may not have looked how you imagined it, but I need you to hear this part.
Speaker A:Especially if you were disappointed in yourself.
Speaker A:You did the best you could with the version of you that existed at the time.
Speaker A:Not the healed version, not the confident version, not the version that knows what she knows now.
Speaker A:Give her grace.
Speaker A:Because she got you here.
Speaker A:Some things didn't work out.
Speaker A:Some doors closed.
Speaker A:Some plans fell apart quietly or maybe loudly.
Speaker A:But that doesn't mean that you failed.
Speaker A:Sometimes the year isn't about winning.
Speaker A:It's about waking up, about realizing what you can't do anymore, who you can't be anymore, who you won't accept anymore.
Speaker A:That's awareness.
Speaker A:That's growth.
Speaker A:And growth deserves to be acknowledged, not rushed.
Speaker A:Now, one more thing before we close this out.
Speaker A:Don't skip this reflection because it feels uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Discomfort is usually the doorway.
Speaker A:The clarity that you're looking for next year is hiding.
Speaker A:And the honesty that you've been avoiding this year.
Speaker A:So before you write down those new goals, before you declare new Year, new you, before you pressure yourself to have it all figured out, pause, reflect, honor what this year taught you.
Speaker A:Because clarity comes before confidence and intention comes before momentum.
Speaker A:And if you're realizing that some of these patterns feel bigger than a journal entry, if you're noticing the same theme, show up year after year.
Speaker A:That's not a motivation problem.
Speaker A:That is an identity pattern.
Speaker A:And if this note made you realize that there's some inner work that you don't want to do alone, this is exactly what we do in Journey to Confidence.
Speaker A:This is where we unpack the patterns, rebuild your self trust and help you walk into the next season grounded instead of guessing.
Speaker A:So the link is in the show notes when you're ready.
Speaker A:You don't need to rush into the new year, you need to arrive.
