Note 38: Your Only Competition Is You
Comparison has a way of making confident women forget who they are.
In this episode of Notes to Her, Yaya breaks down how constantly measuring yourself against other women slowly erodes your self-trust and keeps you stuck in self-doubt.
If you’ve been feeling behind, second-guessing your decisions, or questioning your pace, this note will help you reconnect with your inner voice and rebuild trust in yourself.
Inside this episode, we talk about:
• why comparison feels so convincing
• how not trusting yourself shows up in daily life
• the hidden cost of self-doubt
• what self-trust actually looks like in real life
• how to shift from comparison to grounded confidence
In the next note, we’ll talk about how fear shows up right before your breakthrough and why showing up scared still counts.
Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to notes to her the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya your confidence in mindset coach, here to help you trust yourself, stop shrinking and stop measuring your life against someone else's highlight reeling.
Speaker A:Now, if we listen to the last note, we talked about the pressure that society puts on us and it has you feeling like you're behind and about releasing that pressure to catch up.
Speaker A:Well, now we're going to take it one step further.
Speaker A:Because even when you know that you're not behind, comparison will still creep in.
Speaker A:And comparison has a sneaky way of making you stop trusting yourself.
Speaker A:So today we're talking about self trust and why your real or only competition is the person that you see looking back at you in the mirror yourself.
Speaker A:I used to scroll social media and see women doing things that were on my wish list.
Speaker A:The business success, the lifestyle, the freedom.
Speaker A:And while jealousy really is not my thing, I still felt a little tinge.
Speaker A:Like, why not me?
Speaker A:Especially in my first year of business, there were women who started at the same time as me and seemed to be flourishing.
Speaker A:They were selling confidently, showing up boldly, and owning the expertise.
Speaker A:Meanwhile, I was hiding mine, not because I didn't have it, but because I really didn't trust myself to stand in it.
Speaker A:And comparison made that even worse.
Speaker A:Because when you compare, you don't just admire.
Speaker A:You measure.
Speaker A:And when you measure, you start questioning your own instincts.
Speaker A:Now, here's what comparison really does.
Speaker A:It makes you second guess decisions you already felt good about.
Speaker A:It makes you abandon timelines that were right for you.
Speaker A:And it makes you look outward before you look inward.
Speaker A:You start asking, am I doing this right?
Speaker A:Should I wait?
Speaker A:Should I be further along by now?
Speaker A:And slowly, without realizing it, you stop trusting yourself.
Speaker A:You outsource your knowing you.
Speaker A:You defer your instincts and you abandon your own inner authority.
Speaker A:And that's when competence starts to crack.
Speaker A:Because competence isn't loud.
Speaker A:Confidence is knowing you have your own back.
Speaker A:Not trusting yourself can be really expensive.
Speaker A:It'll cost you your confidence because you're constantly looking for validation.
Speaker A:It costs you opportunities because you're afraid to take risks.
Speaker A:It'll cost you time because you stay too long in jobs, relationships, and situations that don't feel right.
Speaker A:And it keeps you playing small, keeps you quiet, staying in the background.
Speaker A:And the hardest part, you don't even realize that it's happening.
Speaker A:It just feels like hesitation, like being practical, like waiting for the right moment.
Speaker A:But the truth is, self trust is what allows you to move when things aren't guaranteed.
Speaker A:For me the shift came when I realized my scarcity.
Speaker A:Thinking was not protecting me.
Speaker A:I could look at other women's success and feel behind.
Speaker A:Or I could let it remind me of what was possible.
Speaker A:If she can do it, why couldn't I?
Speaker A:And that required trusting myself, trusting my skills, trusting my instincts.
Speaker A:Trusting that even if something didn't work out, I'd handle it.
Speaker A:Because self trust isn't about being right all the time.
Speaker A:It's about knowing that you're not going to abandon yourself when things don't go as planned.
Speaker A:Now pause with me for a second.
Speaker A:Think about the last time you made a decision that didn't feel right in your body.
Speaker A:Maybe it was a yes when you wanted to say no.
Speaker A:Maybe it was staying quiet when you wanted to speak.
Speaker A:Or maybe it was ignoring that tight feeling in your chest.
Speaker A:That feeling that was your self trust trying to speak.
Speaker A:Self trust doesn't scream, it whispers.
Speaker A:And the more you ignore it, the quieter it gets.
Speaker A:So rebuilding self trust isn't about becoming fearless.
Speaker A:It's about listening.
Speaker A:Again.
Speaker A:Choosing alignment, even when it's uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Honoring yourself even when it's inconvenient.
Speaker A:Now here's what I want you to walk away with.
Speaker A:Your only competition is you.
Speaker A:Not her timeline, not her success, not her chapter.
Speaker A:Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you build trust.
Speaker A:Every time you honor your intuition, you strengthen it.
Speaker A:Every time you choose yourself over approval, you reclaim it.
Speaker A:And if this note hits you, if you are realizing how much you've been doubting yourself and you need support right now, not someday, that.
Speaker A:That's exactly what my confidence view sessions are for.
Speaker A:It's just one hour.
Speaker A:It's a focus session where we help you reconnect with your instincts, rebuild trust in yourself, and get grounded in your next step.
Speaker A:So if you're interested, the link is in the show notes.
Speaker A:And if this helped you even a little bit, share it with a friend.
Speaker A:Or share it with a woman who's been comparing herself and forgetting how powerful she already is.
Speaker A:And remember, you are not behind.
Speaker A:You are learning to trust yourself again.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next no.
Speaker A:And it's going to be a good one because I'm getting a little personal.
