Note 56: Stop Waiting to Feel Ready
You’re not confused.
You’re hesitating.
In this episode, Yaya calls out the pattern so many ambitious women live in, waiting to feel ready before they make the move they already know they need to make.
Whether it’s a relationship you’ve outgrown, a role you’ve been scared to pursue, a boundary you’ve been avoiding, or a life decision you keep pushing off, this note is your interruption.
Waiting feels responsible.
But sometimes it’s just fear dressed up as patience.
Inside this episode:
- The difference between settling and stretching
- Why comfort can quietly become a cage
- How projection from loved ones influences your hesitation
- The emotional cost of overriding your intuition
- A personal story about staying too long and what it taught Yaya
- Why readiness is built through action, not thought
- The one shift that starts rebuilding self-trust immediately
If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines of your own life, this one will feel personal.
And if it hits?
The next step is taking action.
Start with the Confidence Starter Kit, your first step toward becoming the woman you keep saying you want to be; link below
Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link
If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.
If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.
Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.
And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.
Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes to her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop shrinking, stop second guessing yourself and start showing up like the woman you keep saying you want to be.
Speaker A:And today I need to talk to the woman on the sidelines.
Speaker A:Yeah, you.
Speaker A:The one thinking about it, the one researching, the one planning, the one waiting for the perfect time, the one saying, I just need to feel more ready.
Speaker A:How long have you been saying that?
Speaker A:I want you to know that I see you.
Speaker A:I see the way you light up when you talk about that new opportunity, that new role, that new relationship, that new version of your life.
Speaker A:Your whole energy shifts and then you shrink.
Speaker A:Your voice gets smaller.
Speaker A:You start explaining, you start justifying.
Speaker A:I just need a little bit more time.
Speaker A:But, girl, time is not the issue.
Speaker A:And this isn't just about a promotion.
Speaker A:This is about the relationship, you know, that's misaligned, but you've invested time.
Speaker A:It's about the boundary you know you need to set, but you don't want to make it awkward.
Speaker A:Is it about the decision that you've been procrastinating on for months?
Speaker A:Because disrupting your life feels scarier than staying uncomfortable?
Speaker A:You keep calling it not ready, but what if it's not readiness?
Speaker A:What if it's permission?
Speaker A:Permission to leave, Permission to outgrow, permission to disappoint someone, permission to want more.
Speaker A:Because sometimes no one claps when you evolve.
Speaker A:And honestly, that's okay.
Speaker A:Clap for yourself.
Speaker A:I hate to say this, but I want to keep it real with you.
Speaker A:Sometimes your growth is going to make other people get uncomfortable.
Speaker A:And we don't like making people uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Especially the woman listening to this.
Speaker A:Let me tell you about a past relationship I had.
Speaker A:This was a four year relationship that I stayed in.
Speaker A:And if I'm being honest, I knew there were moments where I felt it in my body.
Speaker A:This isn't it.
Speaker A:This isn't a line.
Speaker A:This is not the future I see for myself.
Speaker A:But I loved him.
Speaker A:I was hopeful.
Speaker A:And I kept thinking, maybe he'll change.
Speaker A:I would end it.
Speaker A:And then I would go back.
Speaker A:Because I told myself I was being patient.
Speaker A:I told myself relationships take work.
Speaker A:I told myself I just needed to try harder.
Speaker A:But what I was really doing, Overriding myself.
Speaker A:He liked my presence.
Speaker A:He liked what I added to his life.
Speaker A:But he wasn't adding to mine.
Speaker A:He wasn't meeting the needs that I had.
Speaker A:And I stayed anyway.
Speaker A:That was me waiting to feel ready to leave.
Speaker A:But what I was actually waiting for was A discomfort to go away.
Speaker A:And it did.
Speaker A:It cost me my time.
Speaker A:And if I'm being brutally honest, with you, to this day, I hate to even think of the waste of my time.
Speaker A:Now, at this big age, I cannot give you unlimited chances.
Speaker A:I have standards.
Speaker A:I have needs.
Speaker A:And if you cannot meet them, you are not for me.
Speaker A:End of story.
Speaker A:And that is why it pains me when I see women waiting for.
Speaker A:Because I know what is on the other side.
Speaker A:Now, let's talk about settling and stretching.
Speaker A:Settling feels familiar.
Speaker A:Stretching feels scary.
Speaker A:Settling keeps you safe.
Speaker A:Stretching moves you forward.
Speaker A:Settling feels heavy.
Speaker A:Stretching feels alive.
Speaker A:Some women are mistaking comfort for alignment.
Speaker A:And they are not the same.
Speaker A:Because comfort can be a cage.
Speaker A:And then there's projection.
Speaker A:We've all had those moments, even I, where someone we love says, are you sure that's smart?
Speaker A:That seems risky.
Speaker A:Maybe you should slow down.
Speaker A:And they don't mean harm.
Speaker A:But sometimes they're projecting their fear.
Speaker A:And if you're not comfortable, their fear becomes your hesitation.
Speaker A:You start shrinking your dreams to match their comfort.
Speaker A:And that's not your responsibility.
Speaker A:You cannot let someone else's ceiling become your floor.
Speaker A:Now, if you don't take anything else away from this note, take this.
Speaker A:Waiting is not neutral.
Speaker A:Every time you delay a decision you already know needs to be made, you weaken your self trust.
Speaker A:Every time you override your intuition, you chip away at your relationship with yourself.
Speaker A:And then you say, why don't I feel confident?
Speaker A:Because confidence is built through self trust.
Speaker A:And self trust is built through action.
Speaker A:Now let me ask you something.
Speaker A:What's one thing that you have been delaying?
Speaker A:Not the dramatic leap, the next step?
Speaker A:Is it the conversation?
Speaker A:The application?
Speaker A:The boundary, the exit plan?
Speaker A:You don't need to blow up your life.
Speaker A:You need one stretch.
Speaker A:Just one.
Speaker A:Because the woman you say you want to be, she moves.
Speaker A:Not recklessly, intentionally.
Speaker A:There is a version of you who is more vocal, more visible, more grounded, clear in what she deserves.
Speaker A:She doesn't wait for unanimous approval.
Speaker A:She doesn't wait for everyone to feel comfortable.
Speaker A:She moves when it aligns.
Speaker A:And the only thing separating you from her is action.
Speaker A:Listen, you don't need hype.
Speaker A:You need tools.
Speaker A:Because when fear spikes, inspiration disappears.
Speaker A:And that's why I created the Confidence starter kit.
Speaker A:It's not about feeling confident.
Speaker A:It's about building it.
Speaker A:Checking your boundaries, thought reframes, micro actions, and real time interruption tools.
Speaker A:So when that familiar hesitation shows up, you don't spiral.
Speaker A:You move.
Speaker A:And you can grab it through the link in the show notes.
Speaker A:It's free.
Speaker A:It's practical.
Speaker A:And it's the first step towards becoming the woman that you keep talking about.
Speaker A:I need you to stop waiting for readiness.
Speaker A:Stop waiting for discomfort to disappear.
Speaker A:Because it won't.
Speaker A:Growth is uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Expansion is uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Becoming her is uncomfortable.
Speaker A:But staying where you are is that discomfort only compounds.
Speaker A:Now, if you are that woman who has been waiting to feel ready, the next step is downloading the Confidence Starter kit.
Speaker A:Not tomorrow, now.
Speaker A:Because the longer you wait, the longer you stay in the version of yourself you've already outgrown.
Speaker A:And I don't think that's who you want to be anymore.
Speaker A:With love, Yaya.
Speaker A:Sa.
