NOTE 17: Girl…Stop Shrinking, You’re Built for Bigger
Girl… you’re not scared of failing, you’re scared of becoming the woman who actually gets everything she wants.
In this episode, Yaya breaks down why so many women shrink themselves without realizing it and how to finally break that habit.
Inside you’ll learn:
• why fear of success is real (and how it holds you back)
• the subtle ways you’ve been shrinking without noticing
• how to stop dimming your light to keep others comfortable
• the “Built for Bigger” framework to help you take up space
• how to step into the future version of you who’s already winning
If you’re tired of hiding, doubting, or talking yourself out of opportunities, this note is your wake-up call.
If you’re done shrinking and you’re ready for real transformation, the next step is simple:
Apply for Journey to Confidence below.
This program is for the woman who’s ready to stop second-guessing herself and start living like she believes in her own potential.
Apply here.
Transcript
Hey, and welcome back to Notes to her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach.
Speaker A:And today's note.
Speaker A:Oh, this one is coming from your comfort zone in the best way.
Speaker A:Because if there's one thing that I see over and over with friends, with clients, with women who are so capable, it's this.
Speaker A:They don't doubt themselves because they're weak.
Speaker A:They doubt themselves because they've been playing small for too long.
Speaker A:And today, we are done with that.
Speaker A:Now, I have a question for you and answer in your head honestly.
Speaker A:How many times have you talked yourself out of something you wanted because you were scared of how big it could be?
Speaker A:Because you weren't sure if you were ready, because you didn't want to be judged, because you were worried someone might think you're too much.
Speaker A:Here's the truth that you probably never said out loud.
Speaker A:You're not scared of failing.
Speaker A:You're scared of becoming the version of you who actually gets what she asked for.
Speaker A:Sit with that.
Speaker A:Because shrinking, it's not a personality trait.
Speaker A:It's a habit.
Speaker A:And today we are breaking it.
Speaker A:Shrinking doesn't happen all at once.
Speaker A:It's subtle, sneaky.
Speaker A:It sounds like it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker A:I don't want to brag.
Speaker A:Maybe next year.
Speaker A:Who am I to do that?
Speaker A:I'll just stay in the background.
Speaker A:Shrinking is a story you tell yourself to avoid being seen.
Speaker A:But I'm going to be blunt.
Speaker A:You were not built for small.
Speaker A:You were not built for almost.
Speaker A:You were not built to live a life you have outgrown.
Speaker A:If you've been feeling restless, stuck, bored and uninspired, it's not because you're lost.
Speaker A:It's because you're playing beneath your potential.
Speaker A:And if I'm being real with you, you have been shrinking.
Speaker A:And if I've been real with you, and if I'm being real with you, you've been thinking too small for too long, and your life is starting to reflect that.
Speaker A:Here's what I've seen as my time as a coach.
Speaker A:Most women shrink for one of three reasons, and none of them mean that you're not capable.
Speaker A:The first one, you've been hurt before.
Speaker A:You trusted someone.
Speaker A:You took a risk.
Speaker A:You put yourself out there and something went wrong.
Speaker A:Your brain said, never again.
Speaker A:So now invisibility feels safer than trying.
Speaker A:Don't worry.
Speaker A:You are not alone.
Speaker A:I have been there.
Speaker A:But invisible and unhappy is not safety.
Speaker A:It's self abandonment.
Speaker A:Number two.
Speaker A:You're surrounded by small thinkers.
Speaker A:And this one cuts Deep, even for me.
Speaker A:I had a friend who could turn anything into a negative.
Speaker A:It didn't matter what we were talking about.
Speaker A:Money, relationships, goals.
Speaker A:She would find the worst angle every time.
Speaker A:I remember one time she wanted to compete with me about whose boyfriend owed them more money.
Speaker A:Like what?
Speaker A:Little by little, I started thinking small, too.
Speaker A:And I caught myself shrinking just to match her energy.
Speaker A:When I brought it up, she got defensive.
Speaker A:And that's when I realized people get uncomfortable when you talk big.
Speaker A:People project their fears onto your dreams.
Speaker A:People clap for you, but only if you stay beneath them.
Speaker A:People who are committed to their limits will always resist your growth.
Speaker A:Small thinkers can help you build a big life because your potential exposes their comfort level.
Speaker A:Sometimes outgrowing people is the cost of outgrowing your old self.
Speaker A:And number three, you don't want to leave people behind.
Speaker A:This is more common than you think.
Speaker A:You want your friends to come with you.
Speaker A:You don't want your family thinking you've changed.
Speaker A:You don't want people assuming that you think you're better than them.
Speaker A:So you shrink to stay relatable.
Speaker A:You shrink to keep the peace.
Speaker A:You shrink to avoid being judged.
Speaker A:Let me be clear.
Speaker A:Shrinking does not protect your relationships.
Speaker A:It just prevents you from becoming the woman you were meant to be.
Speaker A:The people who love you, they'll adapt.
Speaker A:The ones who don't were never meant to go where you're going now.
Speaker A:Here's how we stop shrinking and start stepping into bigger.
Speaker A:First thing you do, say that dream out loud.
Speaker A:Not the safe version.
Speaker A:Not the if everything works out perfectly version.
Speaker A:The real one.
Speaker A:The dream that scares you just a little bit, because you know it's possible.
Speaker A:When you finally say it, your brain gets permission to chase it.
Speaker A:Then step two.
Speaker A:Let yourself be seen.
Speaker A:Visibility is greater than perfection.
Speaker A:And every single time, post the thing.
Speaker A:Share the idea.
Speaker A:Apply for the opportunity.
Speaker A:Confidence grows when you're visible, not when you're hidden.
Speaker A:Step three, stop borrowing other people's limits.
Speaker A:Their fears are not facts.
Speaker A:Their opinions are not your truth.
Speaker A:Their ceilings are not your boundaries.
Speaker A:Your vision wasn't sent to a committee.
Speaker A:It was sent to you.
Speaker A:Step four, decide you're worthy of more.
Speaker A:Shrinking is never a capability issue.
Speaker A:It's a worthiness issue.
Speaker A:Once you believe that you deserve bigger, you'll stop asking for permission to have it.
Speaker A:Now listen to me carefully.
Speaker A:You are not behind.
Speaker A:You are not unqualified.
Speaker A:You are not too much.
Speaker A:You're not asking for too big of a life.
Speaker A:You're simply waking up to the version of you that has been whispering for years let go.
Speaker A:And guess what?
Speaker A:She doesn't shrink.
Speaker A:She shows up even when she's scared, even when she doubts, even when her voice shakes.
Speaker A:So here's your reminder today.
Speaker A:Stop shrinking for a life you've already outgrown.
Speaker A:Stop dimming a lie you've worked too damn hard for.
Speaker A:You are built for bigger.
Speaker A:Act like it.
Speaker A:And if you're ready to not just hear these pep talks but actually live them, apply for my journey to confidence one to one coaching program.
Speaker A:This is where we take your self doubt your people pleasing your shrinking your fear and transform it into daily confidence, real momentum and bold identity shifts.
Speaker A:It's intimate, it's powerful and it's a space where the next version of you is born.
Speaker A:If you are tired of playing, if you are tired of playing small, I'd love to support you in stepping into bigger.
Speaker A:You weren't meant to be small so let's go get that life that fits you.
