Note 20: The Lie You’ve Been Believing About Yourself
Feeling “not enough” drains your confidence more than anything else. Today, Yaya breaks down why so many women struggle with self-worth and how to finally shift that belief for good.
Inside this episode:
• the real reasons you don’t feel “enough”
• how past relationships shape your confidence
• the client story that will hit your heart
• how to rewrite your inner narrative
• the 4-step process to rebuild self-worth from the inside
If you’re tired of shrinking or settling, this episode will help you see who you really are and who you’re becoming.
Ready to step your confidence up another level? Apply for Journey to Confidence, Yaya’s 1:1 coaching program.
Want more weekly confidence boosts? Subscribe to She’s Limitless, my free email newsletter — mindset shifts, real-talk pep talks, and tools to help you step into your next level.
Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes, the Hurla Daily Prep Talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach.
Speaker A:Here to remind you of who you really are.
Speaker A:Not the watered down version you've learned to perform for the world.
Speaker A:And today's note.
Speaker A:Ooh.
Speaker A:This one is for the woman who has been carrying the quiet belief that she just isn't enough.
Speaker A:Not good enough, not accomplished enough, not lovable enough.
Speaker A:Not there yet.
Speaker A:If this has been your internal soundtrack, then this one's for you.
Speaker A:So let me ask you a question, and don't overthink it.
Speaker A:When was the last time that you felt genuinely proud of yourself?
Speaker A:Not the loud external wins, but proud of who you are?
Speaker A:Most women don't struggle because they're not capable.
Speaker A:They struggle because deep down they don't think that they are enough for the life that they want.
Speaker A:They settle, they shrink.
Speaker A:They tolerate, bare minimum, anything.
Speaker A:They keep choosing crumbs because they don't believe that they deserve the whole damn loaf.
Speaker A:And listen to me.
Speaker A:I have coached enough women to know not enough isn't a personality trait.
Speaker A:It's a story that you learn somewhere.
Speaker A:And stories can be rewritten.
Speaker A:So let me tell you about a client of mine.
Speaker A:For privacy purposes, we'll call her Alicia.
Speaker A:When Alicia came to me, she said exactly this.
Speaker A:Yaya, I feel like everyone around me is moving forward and I'm stuck.
Speaker A:Stuck in a job I hate.
Speaker A:Stuck in a relationship where I give everything and receive nothing.
Speaker A:Stuck trying to prove myself to people who don't even deserve access to me.
Speaker A:Now, listen, Alicia was brilliant.
Speaker A:She was capable.
Speaker A:She was funny, kind, intuitive, and had so much potential.
Speaker A:But she didn't see any of that.
Speaker A:What she did see was a dead end job where her boss overlooked her.
Speaker A:A man who only called when it benefited him, friends who took but rarely poured back, and a life that felt much smaller than she had imagined.
Speaker A:And because she didn't feel good enough, she accepted all of it.
Speaker A:She stayed with the man who made her feel replaceable.
Speaker A:She stayed at a job beneath her skill set.
Speaker A:She stayed quiet in rooms where she should have been leading.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Not because she was weak, but because she was conditioned to believe women like me don't get more.
Speaker A:I should just be grateful.
Speaker A:I don't want to seem entitled.
Speaker A:Well, what if I try and fail, sis?
Speaker A:I looked her dead in her eye one day and said, you are not stuck.
Speaker A:You're settling.
Speaker A:And that moment changed everything.
Speaker A:When a woman doesn't feel good, it usually comes from one of three places.
Speaker A:The first one is A past version of you learn to shrink.
Speaker A:Maybe someone told you that you were too emotional, too bossy, too ambitious, too loud.
Speaker A:So you soften yourself to survive.
Speaker A:The second one, you've been choosing people who cannot reflect your worth back to you.
Speaker A:You think you're lovable?
Speaker A:Try dating somebody emotionally unavailable for too long.
Speaker A:They will make you question your entire identity.
Speaker A:Trust me, I have been there, done that, and do not recommend it.
Speaker A:And if you haven't heard my story yet, you can listen to note number 19 and the hard lessons that I had to learn dating somebody who did not appreciate me until I was gone.
Speaker A:Now, the third one is you've been applauded for your strength, but never supported in your softness.
Speaker A:You've been the helper, the fixer, the strong friend because you never got poured into.
Speaker A:You start feeling like you are running on fumes.
Speaker A:The point is not enough isn't who you are, it's who you were taught.
Speaker A:Now here's where we rewrite the story.
Speaker A:It's the same process that I walked Alicia through.
Speaker A:The same one that changed her entire life.
Speaker A:Step one, identify the lie.
Speaker A:Write this down somewhere.
Speaker A:Where did I learn I wasn't enough?
Speaker A:A moment, a relationship, a comment, a failure.
Speaker A:There's always a route.
Speaker A:Step two, reintroduce yourself to yourself.
Speaker A:Alicia had forgotten her strengths.
Speaker A:So we built a list not of achievements, but of identity.
Speaker A:I am thoughtful.
Speaker A:I'm intuitive.
Speaker A:I am resilient.
Speaker A:I am creative.
Speaker A:I am worthy of love.
Speaker A:That feels like love.
Speaker A:When you see yourself clearly, you will stop accepting blurry treatment.
Speaker A:Step three, raise your standards to match your worth.
Speaker A:Your standards are a mirror.
Speaker A:And Alicia's were low because her self belief was low.
Speaker A:So we raised them.
Speaker A:No more half love.
Speaker A:No more overworking.
Speaker A:No more shrinking to keep access to people who wouldn't choose her.
Speaker A:And the final step.
Speaker A:Act like you believe it before you feel it.
Speaker A:I know this sounds weird, but believe me, your actions teach your brain how to feel.
Speaker A:Alicia didn't feel ready to leave her situationship.
Speaker A:She didn't feel bold enough to ask for more at work, but she did anyway.
Speaker A:And confidence followed the action.
Speaker A:Now, if you've been living in not enough, hear me clearly.
Speaker A:You are not broken.
Speaker A:You are not behind.
Speaker A:You are not hard to love.
Speaker A:You are not unqualified.
Speaker A:You are simply a woman who forgot who she is.
Speaker A:But the fact that you are listening to this, this means something inside of you is waking up.
Speaker A:And the woman you're becoming, she doesn't settle.
Speaker A:She doesn't shrink.
Speaker A:She doesn't beg for love.
Speaker A:Or approval.
Speaker A:She knows she's enough without performance.
Speaker A:And before I close this note out, let me go back to Alicia for a second.
Speaker A:Because her story didn't end where we left off.
Speaker A:When we started working together, she didn't believe that she was worthy of more.
Speaker A:Not in love, not in her career, not even in the way that she saw herself in the mirror.
Speaker A:But little by little, she started doing the work.
Speaker A:She stopped apologizing for wanting more.
Speaker A:She left the situations that were draining her.
Speaker A:She started speaking up in meetings.
Speaker A:She applied for the job she once thought she wasn't qualified enough for.
Speaker A:She started walking differently, like a woman who finally remembered who she was.
Speaker A:And one day on a coaching call, she says to me, I can't believe I used to think this version of me wasn't possible.
Speaker A:And that that is what happens when you finally start treating enough like something you have to earn, start treating it like something you already have.
Speaker A:So if this episode hit home, if you saw yourself in Alicia, if you were tired of settling, shrinking, or second guessing your value, then, baby, Journey to Confidence is where everything shifts.
Speaker A:Because inside Journey to Confidence, we don't just talk about confidence, we build it.
Speaker A:We peel back every layer of not enough.
Speaker A:Re rewrite your inner narrative, rebuilds your habits, your standards, your voice.
Speaker A:We work on identity, mindset, boundaries, self trust, all the things that make confidence a lifestyle and not a mood.
Speaker A:It's the kind of work that changes your energy, your relationships, your career, your life.
Speaker A:It is truly transformative.
Speaker A:So if you're ready to feel like the woman that you know you're supposed to be, apply for my one to one program, Journey to Confidence.
Speaker A:The link will be in the show notes because you are enough right now.
Speaker A:You just need the space that helps you believe it again.
