Note 21: Before You Talk Yourself Out of It… Listen to This
If you’ve ever had a dream, a plan, or a powerful idea…and still found a way to talk yourself out of it?
Yeah. This note is for you.
In today’s pep talk, Yaya breaks down:
• why you keep convincing yourself you're “not ready”
• how fear disguises itself as logic, planning, or “being responsible”
• the real reason women shrink when things start getting big
• the simple 3-step shift to move forward even when you’re scared
• how to stop letting fear make your decisions for you
Plus, Yaya shares a powerful story about a former client who almost walked away from her breakthrough and how one mindset shift changed everything.
If you’re tired of delaying your dreams, doubting your gifts, and dimming your own potential…this note is your loving, necessary wake-up call.
And if you’re ready to stop talking yourself out of your next level, apply for Journey to Confidence; Yaya’s 1:1 coaching program for women who want deeper self-trust, clearer decisions, and real inner transformation.
If you love these pep talks, you’ll love my newsletter. Join She’s Limitless, the weekly confidence notes that hit just as real as the podcast.
Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes to her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop second guessing yourself and start living like the woman you're becoming, not the one that you're outgrowing.
Speaker A:If you've been following this week's notes, then you know that I've been turning up the pressure in the best way.
Speaker A:We've talked about why you may not feel like you're enough and how to change that.
Speaker A:But today I'm coming straight through the throat of your self sabotage.
Speaker A:How many ideas, goals and dreams, the big ones, have you talked yourself out of?
Speaker A:Not because you couldn't do it, but because your fear got louder than your faith.
Speaker A:How many times have you said, I'll start Monday.
Speaker A:I'll do it when I'm ready.
Speaker A:I just need to think about it some more.
Speaker A:And sis, let's be honest.
Speaker A:You weren't thinking.
Speaker A:You were spiraling.
Speaker A:You weren't preparing.
Speaker A:You were delaying.
Speaker A:You weren't unsure.
Speaker A:You were scared.
Speaker A:And here's the real kicker.
Speaker A:Your life is shrinking.
Speaker A:Not because you're incapable, but because you keep convincing yourself you're not ready.
Speaker A:So today's no is the pep talk you need before you talk yourself out of another blessing.
Speaker A:I had a client earlier this year.
Speaker A:Let's call her Danielle.
Speaker A:Brilliant, talented, driven, but completely convinced that she wasn't enough.
Speaker A:She had a dream of launching her own business.
Speaker A:A real one.
Speaker A:Not a cute hobby, not a maybe one day idea.
Speaker A:A business that could change her life.
Speaker A:She booked a call with me.
Speaker A:Excited, inspired, ready.
Speaker A:Or so I thought.
Speaker A:The morning of our second session, she sent me a paragraph long message saying, I don't think I should do this.
Speaker A:What if I fail?
Speaker A:What if I waste my time?
Speaker A:What if I'm not good enough?
Speaker A:I read it and then I asked her one question.
Speaker A:Is this your fear talking or your future?
Speaker A:She got quiet.
Speaker A:And then she said, there's one thing that I hear from so, so many women.
Speaker A:I just don't want to disappoint myself again.
Speaker A:That's when it clicked.
Speaker A:Danielle wasn't scared of failing.
Speaker A:She was scared of trying again.
Speaker A:She was scared of effort, scared of hope, scared of being seen.
Speaker A:But do you know what happened when she pushed through that feeling?
Speaker A:She launched and signed her first three clients.
Speaker A:She started showing up like a whole new woman.
Speaker A:Not because the fear disappeared, but because she stopped letting fear make decisions for her.
Speaker A:And that's the shift that I want for you.
Speaker A:Over my years of teaching, I have learned something most women don't quit because things are hard.
Speaker A:They quit because things are scary.
Speaker A:They have fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of success.
Speaker A:Fear of disappointing people.
Speaker A:Fear of being too visible.
Speaker A:Fear of not being visible enough.
Speaker A:You talk yourself out of things because your brain is designed to protect you, not to grow you.
Speaker A:And protection feels like overthinking.
Speaker A:Waiting for the perfect time.
Speaker A:Asking five different friends for advice.
Speaker A:Creating backup plans for the backup plans.
Speaker A:Playing small so you don't mess up.
Speaker A:Staying in places that you've outgrown.
Speaker A:But here's what I really need you to hear.
Speaker A:Fear is not a stop sign.
Speaker A:Fear is a signal.
Speaker A:A signal that you're stretching.
Speaker A:A signal that you're stepping out of autopilot.
Speaker A:A signal that you're entering the version of you that actually gets what she wants.
Speaker A:Now, when your brain tries to talk you out of something, here's what I want you to do.
Speaker A:First, feel it.
Speaker A:Don't stuff it down.
Speaker A:Don't pretend that you're fearless.
Speaker A:Acknowledge the wobble.
Speaker A:You can say, I'm scared because this matters.
Speaker A:I'm anxious because this is new.
Speaker A:I'm nervous because I'm stretching.
Speaker A:Feeling is not failing.
Speaker A:And then name the lie.
Speaker A:Your fear is telling you something.
Speaker A:Call it out.
Speaker A:This is a fear, not a fact.
Speaker A:This is doubt, not destiny.
Speaker A:This is a trigger, not truth.
Speaker A:And then move anyway.
Speaker A:Send the email, post the video.
Speaker A:Sign up for the program.
Speaker A:Have the conversation.
Speaker A:Say the yes, say the no.
Speaker A:Action is what teaches your brain, oh, she's not living in fear anymore.
Speaker A:That's how confidence is built in real time.
Speaker A:Now listen, you don't become that woman just by thinking about it.
Speaker A:You become her by choosing differently.
Speaker A:You become her by doing the scary thing before you're ready.
Speaker A:You become her by betting on yourself when it feels uncomfortable.
Speaker A:You become her by showing up even when your hands are shaking.
Speaker A:Fear is human.
Speaker A:But shrinking.
Speaker A:Shrinking is optional.
Speaker A:And I want better for you.
Speaker A:If this note hits you in a place that you don't talk about, if something in you whispered, yeah, yeah, this is me, then I want to tell you this is the exact work that we do.
Speaker A:Inside Journey to Confidence.
Speaker A:This isn't the feel good fluff.
Speaker A:It's not the motivational hype that you're going to forget tomorrow.
Speaker A:It's that deep identity work that changes who you are from the inside out.
Speaker A:Inside Journey to Confidence.
Speaker A:We walk through four phases.
Speaker A:Phase one is the unlearning, where we uncover the root of your fear.
Speaker A:The hesitation and self doubt.
Speaker A:And we pull it out gently but truthfully.
Speaker A:And then Phase two is the rewiring.
Speaker A:We build the thoughts and patterns that shape your confidence so you stop reacting from old wounds.
Speaker A:Phase three is the becoming you step into the version of you who makes decisions from clarity, not fear.
Speaker A:And phase four is the embodiment.
Speaker A:We turn confidence into a daily rhythm, not a temporary feeling.
Speaker A:So if this episode gave you clarity, imagine what happens when we do this Work together, one on one.
Speaker A:That's where the real transformation happens, where you stop talking yourself out of things and finally start living the life that you've been dreaming about.
Speaker A:You can apply to Work with me in Journey to Confidence using the link in the show notes.
Speaker A:Can't wait to hear from you.
Speaker A:Okay, girl, now go do the thing that you were about to talk yourself out of.
Speaker A:The.
