Note 25: Listen to This Before Your Mind Spirals Again
Your mind ever take one tiny moment and spin it into a whole dramatic storyline? Yeah… same, sis. And if you’re tired of spiraling every time you don’t have all the answers, this note is your reset.
In today’s pep talk, Yaya breaks down:
• why your brain jumps to worst-case thinking
• how past experiences can trigger current spirals
• the 60-second grounding reset to calm your mind
• a 3-step framework to stop spirals before they take over
• the truth about anxious thoughts vs. real evidence
• why your fear feels real even when the story isn’t
Plus, Yaya shares a personal moment where an old wound caused her to overreact… and the lesson that changed everything.
If you need something to pull you back into the present and out of your head, this is it.
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Transcript
Hey, girl.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I am Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop spiraling, breathe deeper, and actually trust yourself again.
Speaker A:Listen, before we get into today's pep talk, we need to have a little celebration moment because we've officially hit 25 episodes.
Speaker A:25.
Speaker A:If you have been here since note one, I want to say thank you.
Speaker A:And if this is your first episode, your third episode, or your Let me try this podcast one more time episode.
Speaker A:Welcome.
Speaker A:I am really glad you're here because most podcasts don't make it past episode three.
Speaker A:Three.
Speaker A:But we're still here, still growing, still healing, still talking through life together, one pep talk at a time.
Speaker A:So before we jump in, I have two tiny favors.
Speaker A:One, tap, follow, or subscribe so you don't miss any new notes.
Speaker A:And two, share this episode with a friend who loves to overthink, or the friend that needs that gentle girl breathe today.
Speaker A:All right, let's talk about those spirals.
Speaker A:Your mind keeps starting without permission.
Speaker A:How many times have you created a whole dramatic storyline in your head with zero real evidence?
Speaker A:Raise your hand, you call someone, no answer.
Speaker A:You send a text, no reply.
Speaker A:Someone gives you a weird tone in a meaning.
Speaker A:Maybe there's late night silence or a change in someone's vibe, and suddenly you have built a whole movie around betrayal, rejection, disaster, abandonment, and none of it's actually happening.
Speaker A:You're not dramatic.
Speaker A:You're not doing too much.
Speaker A:Okay, maybe just a little bit.
Speaker A:However, this is your brain trying to protect you.
Speaker A:It just has no idea how to turn the volume down.
Speaker A:So today, we're turning it down together.
Speaker A:Now, spirals happen for a reason.
Speaker A:Your brain hates uncertainty, Silence.
Speaker A:It fills it gaps in information.
Speaker A:It writes a script.
Speaker A:But here's a part that nobody taught me.
Speaker A:But now that I know, I am telling you.
Speaker A:Your brain doesn't fill the gap with truth.
Speaker A:It fills it with fear.
Speaker A:Not because you're broken.
Speaker A:Okay, maybe a little bit.
Speaker A:Well, you can fix that.
Speaker A:But it's not because you're weak.
Speaker A:It's because your brain believes that preparing for the worst equals protection.
Speaker A:So it starts rehearsing worst case scenarios over and over until you're exhausted and anxious and doubting your whole life.
Speaker A:And the wild thing is, you are absolutely allowed to interrupt it.
Speaker A:You are allowed to tell your brain this is a thought, not fact.
Speaker A:You are allowed to slow down everything.
Speaker A:You are allowed to choose a different interpretation.
Speaker A:And I'm going to show you exactly how.
Speaker A:Now, wherever you are, let's do this together.
Speaker A:Sit down and take a slow, deep breath through your nose.
Speaker A:Hold it.
Speaker A:And then exhale.
Speaker A:And again.
Speaker A:Deeper this time.
Speaker A:Let your shoulders drop.
Speaker A:Now listen.
Speaker A:You are safe in this moment.
Speaker A:You are okay in this moment.
Speaker A:You are here.
Speaker A:In this moment.
Speaker A:Name three things that you can feel.
Speaker A:Maybe it's your feet on the ground, your clothes on your skin, your breath in your chest.
Speaker A:You are not trying to fix the thought.
Speaker A:You are reminding your brain, I am not in danger.
Speaker A:I'm just overthinking.
Speaker A:Spiraling pulls you into the future.
Speaker A:Grounding you pulls you back into now.
Speaker A:Here's how to stop a spiral before it takes over the first thing you do.
Speaker A:Name the story.
Speaker A:Say, my brain is telling me a story that.
Speaker A:And then you insert whatever fear that is.
Speaker A:Once you call it a story, your brain has to, quote, question it.
Speaker A:So step two, ask a grounding question.
Speaker A:What else could be true?
Speaker A:Not what's the best case scenario, but what are the other explanations?
Speaker A:What information am I missing?
Speaker A:What if this isn't personal?
Speaker A:Suddenly your fear isn't the only option.
Speaker A:Step three, choose a helpful thought.
Speaker A:Not a perfect thought, not toxic positivity, just a thought that calms your nervous system.
Speaker A:Something like, I don't have all the facts yet.
Speaker A:This feeling isn't proof.
Speaker A:I can handle whatever comes.
Speaker A:This is how you interrupt the spiral.
Speaker A:You replace panic with possibility.
Speaker A:So since I've cracked the door open to my personal relationships just a little, I'm going to tell you guys another story.
Speaker A:I walked away with a lot of baggage from a toxic relationship that I talked about in note 19.
Speaker A:If you haven't listened to that note yet, make sure you go back and listen to the lessons that I learned the hard way.
Speaker A:But after that relationship, years afterward, I was getting to know somebody new.
Speaker A:And I had a moment with this guy where I called him up and he didn't pick up the phone.
Speaker A:So then I text him, too.
Speaker A:And there was no response.
Speaker A:It was just one.
Speaker A:This call.
Speaker A:One unread text.
Speaker A:And I think it was in a matter of, like, 15 minutes.
Speaker A:And, girl, I spiraled.
Speaker A:My chest got tight.
Speaker A:My mind said, here we go again.
Speaker A:And I created this whole betrayal scenario with absolutely no evidence.
Speaker A:When I finally brought it up to him, he checked me gently, calmly, but so directly.
Speaker A:And I realized that I was punishing him for wounds he didn't create.
Speaker A:I was letting my past write the script for my present.
Speaker A:Some things you spiraled about weren't real.
Speaker A:They were memories dressed as threats.
Speaker A:Fear, pretending to be fat.
Speaker A:Your nervous system has been doing too much.
Speaker A:It's time to rest.
Speaker A:It's time to breathe and learn a new rhythm.
Speaker A:Because you deserve clarity.
Speaker A:You deserve inner peace.
Speaker A:And you deserve a mind that doesn't attack you every time you're unsure.
Speaker A:This isn't who you are.
Speaker A:This is just what you've learned.
Speaker A:And anything can be unlearned.
Speaker A:So before we wrap up, let me leave you with this.
Speaker A:You are not your spirals.
Speaker A:You are not your worst case thoughts.
Speaker A:You are not the stories your fear keeps writing.
Speaker A:You are capable of pausing.
Speaker A:You are capable of choosing differently.
Speaker A:You are capable of calming your mind even when your body is screaming panic.
Speaker A:Now if this note helps you even a little today, please leave me a rating or review on the app that you're listening to.
Speaker A:It helps this podcast reach more women who need this kind of truth in their ears.
Speaker A:And come hang out with me on Instagram or threads@notestoherdaily.
Speaker A:That's where we talk through these moments every day.
Speaker A:You don't have to spiral alone because I'm right here with you.
Speaker A:Sa.
