Note 5: Talk to Yourself Like a Woman Who Believes It
Your words teach your brain how powerful you think you are.
In this confidence-boosting episode, Yaya breaks down how the language you use, even small phrases like “I think” or “sorry”, directly affects your energy, motivation, and self-trust. You’ll learn how to upgrade your self-talk, replace minimizing language with confident alternatives, and start sounding powerful before you even feel it.
You’ll learn:
- Why your brain believes every word you say
- How negative self-talk shapes your emotions and actions
- Simple swaps that instantly make you sound (and feel) more confident
- How to create a daily habit of empowering, grounded language
Share your new confidence phrase on Instagram or Threads and tag @coachingwithyaya, Yaya might feature your story this week!
Transcript
Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.
Speaker A:I'm Yaya, your confidence and mind tech coach, here to help you stop overthinking, start owning your voice, and lead the day like you mean it.
Speaker A:In the last episode, we talked about something that almost every woman deals with.
Speaker A:Borrowed doubt.
Speaker A:That moment you're feeling good about yourself, you've prepped, you're ready, and then someone else's fear starts rubbing off on you.
Speaker A:Maybe it's a co worker who's nervous before a presentation and suddenly your stomach's tight too.
Speaker A:Or a friend who's questioning her own path, and before you know it, you're questioning yours.
Speaker A:In that episode, I shared a story about how I had to learn how to hand that doubt back, to notice when I was absorbing other people's fears and remind myself, that's not mine to hold.
Speaker A:If you haven't listened to it yet, definitely go back and Listen to note 4.
Speaker A:Stop borrowing other people's doubt, because today's topic builds right on top of that.
Speaker A:So let's talk about a different kind of thief.
Speaker A:The words that quietly drain your confidence.
Speaker A:The words that you speak to yourself.
Speaker A:I have a friend, and maybe you do, too, who's incredibly talented.
Speaker A:She's creative, hardworking, and honestly, brilliant at what she does.
Speaker A:But every time she shares her work, she leaves with an apology.
Speaker A:I didn't have much time, so it's not perfect.
Speaker A:Don't judge me.
Speaker A:I'm still working on it.
Speaker A:It's probably not that good, but here it is.
Speaker A:You ever do that?
Speaker A:Downplay your own skills so that no one else can beat you to it?
Speaker A:My friend wasn't struggling with skill.
Speaker A:She was struggling with trust.
Speaker A:She didn't trust her expertise enough to let her own work speak for itself.
Speaker A:And the truth is, every time she softened her words, she softened her confidence, too.
Speaker A:Here's the thing.
Speaker A:Your brain listens to your language.
Speaker A:Every word you speak out loud or in your head becomes a script your subconscious performs.
Speaker A:When you say, I think, your brain hears uncertainty.
Speaker A:When you say, I'm not sure, your brain learns hesitation.
Speaker A:When you start every sentence with sorry, it labels it as you Wrong.
Speaker A:Even though you're not, your words literally tell your body how to feel.
Speaker A:When you use doubtful, minimizing language, your shoulders drop, your breath shallows, and your energy shrinks.
Speaker A:But when you speak with calm certainty, your body follows.
Speaker A:Your tone steadies, your presence expands.
Speaker A:In psychology, we call this the loop effect.
Speaker A:Your thoughts shape your emotions, your emotions shape your actions, and your actions reinforce your beliefs.
Speaker A:So if you Keep talking like you're small.
Speaker A:You're going to start to feel small.
Speaker A:And when you feel small, you act small.
Speaker A:The good news is you can rewire that loop.
Speaker A:The voice in your head, the one that says, you can't, you won't.
Speaker A:Why try?
Speaker A:Isn't the truth.
Speaker A:It's just a habit.
Speaker A:A protective gremlin I love to call your inner mean girl that learned to play it safe.
Speaker A:I wrote a blog post recently called How Negative Self Talk Sabotages Success, explaining how negative self talk keeps you in the passenger seat.
Speaker A:It talks you out of opportunities.
Speaker A:It whispers, don't bother when something matters to you.
Speaker A:And before you know it, you've drifted far, far from your goals.
Speaker A:Not because you are incapable, but because that inner voice keeps you off track.
Speaker A:Here's what I love.
Speaker A:You created the voice, which means that you can retrain it.
Speaker A:You can rewrite the script one sentence at a time.
Speaker A:Okay, let's practice that right now.
Speaker A:When it comes to language, small swaps make a big difference.
Speaker A:Let's trade the self note phrases that shrink your power for the ones that bandit.
Speaker A:Instead of I just wanted to check in, say I wanted to follow up.
Speaker A:Instead of sorry for the delay, say thank you for your patience.
Speaker A:Instead of does that make sense?
Speaker A:Say, what are your thoughts?
Speaker A:Instead of I'm not sure, but say, here's what I think.
Speaker A:These shifts might seem tiny, but they train your brain to associate your voice with calm authority.
Speaker A:And this isn't just about sounding polished.
Speaker A:It's about reshaping your internal dialogue, too.
Speaker A:Because how you talk to yourself matters just as much as how you talk to others.
Speaker A:You're in constant mental chatter.
Speaker A:Every thought is a seed that grows into action.
Speaker A:When you plant negative thoughts, you harvest hesitation.
Speaker A:But when you plant encouraging ones, things like I can handle this or I'm learning as I go, you start to build confidence in real time.
Speaker A:So try this.
Speaker A:Step number one is awareness.
Speaker A:Catch those negative phrases the moment they appear.
Speaker A:Something like, I always mess up.
Speaker A:Two, replace that.
Speaker A:Shift it into something supportive, like I'm learning and improving.
Speaker A:And then three, repeat.
Speaker A:Every repetition rewires your brain towards confidence.
Speaker A:I call it creating a positive script.
Speaker A:You start stacking positive thoughts on top of positive thoughts until your inner voice becomes your biggest ally instead of your harshest critic.
Speaker A:When your language changes, your posture changes, your tone changes, your energy changes.
Speaker A:That's how you start sounding confident before you even feel it.
Speaker A:Okay, it's time to take a breath with me.
Speaker A:We're going to inhale and then exhale.
Speaker A:Think about one phrase you say often that quietly downplays your power.
Speaker A:Maybe it's sorry, maybe it's I think maybe it's it's not a big deal.
Speaker A:Now imagine saying the new version.
Speaker A:Feel how differently it sounds in your body, because every time you use strong, kind, confident language, you send your brain a message.
Speaker A:This is who I am now.
Speaker A:It's not just a word swap.
Speaker A:It's an identity shift.
Speaker A:When you talk to yourself like a woman who believes it, your energy becomes magnetic.
Speaker A:You start attracting opportunities that match that energy.
Speaker A:And remember, changing self talk isn't about fake positivity.
Speaker A:You're not ignoring fear or pretending you're perfect.
Speaker A:You're leading your mind instead of letting old patterns lead you.
Speaker A:So as you move through your day, listen to how you speak to your friends, to your coworkers, and most importantly, to yourself.
Speaker A:Ask is my language expanding me or shrinking me?
Speaker A:If it's shrinking you, pause, breathe, and rewrite the line.
Speaker A:I'd love to hear your swaps.
Speaker A:So post your new confidence phrase in your Instagram stories and tag me at Question with Yaya.
Speaker A:I'll be cheering you on and sharing a few of my favorites this week.
Speaker A:Because confidence isn't about being perfect.
Speaker A:It's about being certain enough to stand in what you already know.
Speaker A:And in our next episode, I'm going to show you how to take these words and turn them into action.
Speaker A:We're talking about how to make big goals feel totally doable, even when it feels like it's miles away.
Speaker A:Sa.
